


i made these plans with you around

by smokeofthetrain



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, First Time, Fluff, Growing Up Together, It's mainly just fluff, M/M, Underage Drinking, also they're the same age in this fic, ignore that tag, just to avoid any confusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2018-02-22 08:09:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2500727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smokeofthetrain/pseuds/smokeofthetrain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Louis remembers the day he met Harry like it’s permanently ingrained into his mind. Most memories from his childhood have faded over time. He doesn’t remember losing his first tooth, or getting his first report card, or playing in his first soccer match.</i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <i>But Harry?</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>He remembers Harry.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	i made these plans with you around

**Author's Note:**

> Just a small note, I know absolutely nothing about the British school system, but some googling had led me to believe that at least some schools hold a Leavers Ball at the end of Year Eleven so I went with it. If that’s completely wrong then please blame Google.
> 
> The title is taken from basterdised lyrics from [Under the Same Sun](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1-FOxiB9E8) by Ben Howard.

 

Louis remembers the day he met Harry like it’s permanently ingrained into his mind. Most memories from his childhood have faded over time. He doesn't remember losing his first tooth, or getting his first report card, or playing in his first soccer match.

But Harry?

He remembers Harry.

 

*

 

_The Past_

 

He first met him in Year Two, when he spotted him across the playground at school. The boy with the soft jumper and softer curls, stance pigeon-toed and unsure as he watched the other children play. Louis didn’t recognise him, which was odd, because the school was quite small and Louis recognised almost everyone, except some of the children from the younger classes. But this boy looked about Louis’ age and Louis didn’t know him. And in Louis’ mind, this was a problem.

Louis marched over to the boy immediately, and stuck out a hand in the way his mum had taught him you should greet someone new. “Who are you?” he opened with. “I don’t know you.”

The boy startled at Louis’ approach, and his eyes dropped down to his shoes. He whispered something Louis couldn’t hear. Whispering was rude, and Louis frowned.

“You have to speak up,” Louis informed the boy. “No one likes it when you mumble.” Teachers were always telling other student’s that when they answered a question too quietly. Not Louis though. He got in trouble for doing the exact opposite.

“I’m Louis,” Louis tried again. His arm was getting tired from holding it out so long. This time the boy shifted so that he was slightly turned away from Louis.

And well. Louis could take a hint, thank you very much. He’d find someone else to play with.

Louis ended up playing footie with Stan for the rest of break time, and he didn’t see the boy again, but when the bell rang to call everyone back to class, there he was! Sitting in the seat next to Louis’ no less.

The teacher, Ms. Ailsbury, made everyone sit down and pick up their pencils and take out their copybooks, ready to start the next lesson. The boy didn’t look up when Louis took the seat next to his, but Louis saw his shoulders stiffen slightly.

Louis was quiet for the first few minutes of class, but it was a maths lesson, and maths was _boring_ , so it didn’t take long for him to start fidgeting. Eventually his attention wandered over to the boy next to him, and Louis saw that his copy was still empty.

“Why haven’t you written anything down?” he hissed. “You’re supposed to be copying down the tables as Miss writes them up on the board.”

The boy just shook his head. Louis didn’t know what that meant.

“You need to write down the times tables. You’ll need them for homework tonight.”

And Harry burst into tears! Just like that.

“Louis! Please leave Harry alone!” Harry. So that was the boy’s name. Ms. Ailsbury’s voice turned very kind as she spoke to the boy next. “Harry, would you like to go sit in the nurse’s office until you feel better?” she asked. Harry nodded, and Ms. Ailsbury led him out of the room, with a warning to everyone that they were to stay quiet and that she’d be back in a couple of minutes.

When Miss came back, Harry wasn’t with her. She told Louis she was going to finish the lesson, but after that she wanted to speak to him. Louis sighed. He was no stranger to getting in trouble, but that didn’t mean it didn’t bother him.

True to her word, Ms. Ailsbury finished the lesson then pulled Louis out of the class to scold him.

“It’s not my fault, Miss!” Louis protested. “I was only trying to be his friend, honest. But he wouldn’t talk to me, and then he just started crying.”

His teacher looked contemplative for a moment and then she nodded. “Alright Louis. But don’t try talk to him again for the rest of the day, okay?” Louis nodded, relieved he wasn’t getting into more trouble, but the relief only lasted a second. “I’m going to call your mother. I’d like to have a word with her.”

Louis groaned, but there was no point in arguing. Teachers never listened. It wouldn’t be the first time the school had had to contact Louis’ ma and Louis knew she was going to be really cross. He probably wouldn’t be allowed play his Playstation for a whole week.

He kicked the ground. Stupid Harry. Louis should never have even tried to be his friend.

Louis’ mum came in when school was over that day and had a meeting with Louis’ teacher in the classroom. Louis had to be there too, which he always hated because it meant he could see his mum giving him disappointed looks.

But the meeting went nothing like what Louis expected. After Louis’ mum and Ms. Ailsbury had exchanged greetings and taken their seats, they began to talk about Harry. “I explained Harry’s situation to you over the phone,” Ms. Ailsbury said. “He’s obviously extremely withdrawn, and his foster family were worried about how he was going to settle in here. It would be great for him to have a friend.”

“I completely understand,” replied Louis’ mum. He wished she’d share the understanding, because he was completely lost. Why were they talking about Harry and not him?

“Louis’ very sociable, and it could really help bring Harry out of his shell a little to be around him. I've contacted Harry’s mum, and she’s happy for you to get in touch. It’s completely up to you. And Louis of course.” Ms. Ailsbury gave him a kind smile, and it was the first acknowledgement that Louis was in the room since the meeting began.

Louis’ mum turned to him to. “Myself and Ms. Ailsbury were thinking it might be nice for you and Harry to meet up and play sometime. What do you think, dear? Would you like that?”

Louis was confused about not getting in trouble, but if neither of them were going to mention it then he wasn’t either. Instead he shrugs. “Maybe. Only if Harry says yes too. I tried being friends with him already but he didn’t want to talk to me.”

“Harry’s just a bit shy,” explained Ms. Ailsbury. “It’s not that he doesn’t want to be your friend. He’s just doesn’t quite know how to react to you.”

That didn’t really make sense to Louis. All Harry had to do was say hi. What was hard about that?

 

Louis didn’t talk to Harry much the next week. Harry seemed to be avoiding him anyway. Out of the corner of his eye, Louis would always see him staring at him, but whenever Louis turned to look at Harry, the boy would duck his head down and fidget with his hands until Louis stopped paying him attention.

When the weekend rolled around however, Louis’ mum announced that he was going over to Harry’s house to play. “I’ll be there too, to chat to Harry’s mum and keep an eye on your behaviour.”

Louis wasn’t a fan of this idea. Being stuck in a strange house all day with a kid who won’t even talk to him? No thanks. His mum had that face on though, the one that said she wasn’t going to hear any arguments, so Louis just sighed. “Does he have a Playstation?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” he mum replied.

Louis made an unhappy noise. “Fine. But we’ll have to bring mine then,” he told her. “Just in case.” If he had to put up with Harry all day then he was at least going to get some time playing video games out of it. That was that.

His mum grumbled a little about how he was addicted to his Playstation, but she helped him unplug and disconnect all the wires all the same, so Louis knew she didn’t really mean it. Louis put it in the car, safe in the backseat. He picked out a few games to bring with him, and put them in the car too.

When they got to Harry’s, his mum answered the door. “Thank you so much for doing this,” she said to Louis’ mum. Louis didn’t know why his mum was getting the thanks. He was the one who actually had to spend time with Harry.

Speaking of: “Harry’s upstairs in his room, dear,” Harry’s mum told him. “I’ll take you there.”

She led him upstairs, knocking on the door to Harry’s room. “Louis’ here, love,” she called. Louis hoped his mum was taking notes. She never knocked before she came into Louis’ room, she just barged straight in.

After a moment, Harry still hadn’t answered, and Harry’s mum knocked again. “Come on, Harry, we spoke about this. It’s only Louis.”

Another moment, and then the door opened slowly, Harry’s curls peeking out around it. “There you are, dear,” Harry’s mum said. “Like I said, Louis’ here. He’s come over to play.”

Harry nodded, but he didn’t say anything.

“You can play up here if you like. Or you could play downstairs. That’s where I’ll be, with Louis’ mum, in case you’d prefer it if we were close by.”

“I brought my Playstation,” Louis interjected quickly. “I didn’t know if you already had one. So if you’ve a TV somewhere we could set that up.”

“We don’t have one actually Louis; it’s very kind of you to bring yours over. We could set it up in the living room. Would you like that, Harry?”

Harry just shrugged, but his mum seemed to take it as an affirmation. “Come on then, boys. I’ll help you set it up.”

A few minutes later, and the Playstation was plugged in and working, and Louis couldn’t be happier. Harry still hadn’t said a word, but at least now Louis had something to do other than try and talk to him.

“Myself and Johannah will stay in the kitchen, just through there, okay? If you need anything, just come get me.”

“I, um. I don’t know how to play,” Harry said quietly as Louis pushed the disk for Crash Bandicoot into the console.

“That’s okay, sweetheart. Louis will teach you. Won’t you, dear?” Harry’s mum asked.

Louis said he would, but he didn’t really want to. Who didn’t know how to play the Playstation? Louis was pretty sure he was born with the ability to play.

Harry’s mum left, and Louis could hear her in the kitchen chattering away to his mum like they were old friends. Harry was sitting on the couch looking down at his hands. “Here,” Louis said, handing him a controller and taking a seat beside him. “It’s not that hard. Mainly you just have to press the ‘X’ button.” He pointed it out to Harry.

“Okay,” Harry whispered.

“We’re playing racing. You have to pick a character to race against all the others. You can’t pick Crash though, I’m being him.”

Harry ends up picking Pura, the tiger cub. It’s a solid choice.

Louis started the race, and Harry was terrible. He kept moving the controller in the direction he wanted Pura to go, like that was going to make a difference. “No,” Louis told him, “You have to steer using the joystick part. Use your thumbs.” He didn’t know how to jump either, or use weapons, and his character kept dying every couple of seconds.

By the end of the race, Harry had come last and Louis had come second last because he had to stop concentrating on his own game so much in order to tell Harry what to do. Harry looked really upset.

“It’s okay,” Louis told him, even though he was a bit annoyed himself. He hated losing. “This was only a practice run. You’ll get better.”

They played for about an hour before Harry’s mum interrupted with a plate of biscuits and some glasses of orange juice. “Here you are, boys,” she said, placing the plate down on the coffee table. “How are things going? Are you having fun, Harry?”

Harry nodded, and Louis took a moment to properly look at him. He’d gotten pretty good at the game. Nowhere near as good as Louis, but he’d started coming in fourth or fifth place instead of dead last, and Louis didn’t have to tell him how the controls worked anymore. Harry definitely seemed a lot happier.

Harry’s mum seemed to have noticed the change too because she looked delighted and said “I’m so glad,” in a very emotional voice. “Enjoy your snacks.”

She left then, and Louis immediately set upon the biscuits. They were the Toffypop ones that he loved, but that his mum would never buy because she said they had too much sugar in them. Harry wandered over to the biscuits more hesitantly, but eventually he picked one up and started to nibble away on it.

Both their mums came in just as they were finishing up. “Louis, I have some errands to run, so I think I’m going to leave if that’s alright with you,” Louis’ mum started. “You and Harry seem to be getting along well enough here.”

Louis supposed they were, although they hadn’t really had much of a conversation outside of him telling Harry how to play the game. Still, it wasn’t as bad as he’d thought it was going to be, so he shrugged, knowing his mum would take it as permission to leave. “I’ll be back later to collect you. And Harry’s mum has my number in case there’s any problems.”

His mum went, but not before giving him an embarrassing kiss on the cheek. Louis scrubbed it away furiously, trying to subtly gauge Harry’s reaction. The other boys in school would have teased him mercilessly about being kissed by his mum, but Harry just seemed to be staring at him curiously.

“I’ll let you get back to your game,” Harry’s mum said, taking the plate and empty glasses away.

“Do you want to keep playing Crash Bandicoot? I brought some other games, I could teach you how to play those if you like?” Louis asked.

“I don’t mind. Whatever you want,” Harry replied, rubbing his foot against the floor.

Louis kind of wished Harry would make _some_ decisions, but he didn’t say it. He just went to the pile of games he’d brought with him, and pulled out another. “Let’s play this next,” he said, holding up Rachet and Clank.

It was almost dinner time when Louis’ mum came back. Louis had hardly even noticed the time passing. Harry’s mum helped him pack up his things, and walked him to the door. She chatted with Louis’ mum for a little while, and Louis groaned inwardly. Mums could talk forever.

“Thank you for having me, Mrs. Styles,” Louis said. His mum always told him he had to be polite.

“Oh, it’s Mrs. Twist, dear. But you can call me Anne. I hope you can come around again some. I know Harry really loved having you here.”

Louis didn’t really understand. He was sure Harry’s last name was Styles. How could his mum have a different surname? And besides that, Louis knew Harry was only really tolerating his presence. He’d barely spoken to Louis unless Louis had asked him a direct question first. Louis didn’t mind though. He got to play video games all day without his mum interrupting him and making him do chores, and Mrs. Twist – _Anne_ – had brought him some of his favourite snacks.

All in all the day wasn’t so bad.

“Bye Harry!” he called loudly to the other boy then. It wouldn’t do not to say goodbye to him too.

Harry was still in the living room but he ducked his head out into the hallway. “Um, bye Louis,” he said nervously, before disappearing again.

“I’m sure it’s done wonders for Harry, having Louis here,” Harry’s mum was saying. “He barely ever speaks. Not even to Robin and I, not for as long as long as he’s been here. Poor lamb. I think it must be hard for him, you know? Constantly surrounded by adults these past few months - years even. It’d be so good for him to have a friend is own age.”

“I think so too. And Louis loves making new friends. This is good for both of them, honestly.”

Louis started subtly pulling on his mum’s trousers then, because it was time to leave. It was time to leave five minutes ago! Eventually his mum got the hint, saying goodbye to Anne and taking Louis by the hand.

“Did you have a good day?” she asked once they were both in the car.

“Yeah. It was alright,” Louis told her, and she smiled in response.

 

The next week of school was fine. He and Harry didn’t speak much, but Louis made sure to say hello to Harry whenever their paths crossed. Sometimes Harry would give him a small wave in return but other times he would duck his head down as if he hadn’t even seen Louis. It was confusing, but Louis was able to shrug it off. Harry was a little odd, after all.

On Saturday, Louis and his Playstation were both back at Harry’s. This time, Harry was downstairs in the living room, already waiting for him. He didn’t say anything more than a whispered hello when Louis walked in, but he started helping Louis plug in the Playstation and connect all the wires without being asked, so Louis thought maybe there was a chance Harry wanted him there.

They got themselves settled on the sofa, Louis passing a controller to Harry. He decided they should play Crash Bandicoot again, because Harry was getting quite good at that. He gave a small smile every time he didn’t come last, and for some reason Louis liked it. Liked to see him smile. Harry hardly ever did, after all.

Harry was good enough now to beat all of the computerised characters, coming second in the race only to Louis. Louis had had loads of practice though, and he knew it’d take ages for Harry to ever get good enough to beat him, if he ever did. So maybe he started purposely not dodging bombs from the other players, and maybe he didn’t accelerate as much as he should…

Seeing Harry win his first race was all worth it. “Did you see that, Lou? I did it!” Harry exclaimed, eyes bright and happy. It was probably the most Harry had ever said to him all in one go.

“Yeah you did,” Louis told him, echoing his smile.

Harry kept grinning for a long time afterwards. His mum noticed when she came in with biscuits and orange, Louis could tell. She didn’t say anything though, just put a hand up to her mouth like she was trying to hide her own smile.

 

Harry and Louis grew a lot closer over the next few weeks, and Louis was glad. He had always been friendly with everyone he had met. His mum called him a little social butterfly, and although he wasn’t sure exactly what that meant he got the gist. Take lunchtimes at school for example. Sometimes he’d play football with the lads on the pitch, and other times he’d play basketball or try his hand at hopscotch. He didn’t stick to one particular group of friends.

At least, he didn’t before Harry came along.

Harry didn’t like hanging around with large groups of people. Louis thought it scared him a bit. Rather than let Harry stay by himself at lunchtimes however, Louis decided to stay with him and do whatever Harry wanted to do, which normally ended up being colouring. Harry brought lots of colouring books with him to school, and he always lent one to Louis so they both had a picture to work on. Louis didn’t like it much. He had trouble concentrating sometimes, and it meant he coloured outside the lines a lot without meaning to. He was bad at choosing what colours looked nice together too. Harry’s pictures always looked much better.

Louis supposed it was better than leaving Harry to be by himself though. The teachers were always going on about how important it was that nobody got left out, so Louis knew he had to make the extra effort to make sure Harry wasn’t all alone. Plus, Harry had started smiling more, and he smiled at every single one of Louis’ jokes. No one else did that, and it made Louis feel really special.

A few weeks later in class, they had to write a paragraph about their best friends, and Harry wrote about Louis and Louis wrote about Harry and Louis realised, wait a second, Harry really _was_ his best friend.

He was definitely okay with that.

 

*

 

When Louis was nine, he finally learned what it meant when his mum told him that Harry wasn’t Anne and Robin’s real son, but that he was their foster son. He’d heard her mention it once or twice before, but he hadn’t really been paying attention, and Harry didn’t like talking about it so he didn’t bring it up very often either. Apparently, it meant that Harry didn’t have a proper family, at least not one that could take care of him, so Anne and Robin were taking care of him instead for a little while. Louis learned this because the Twists had just told Harry that they had decided to foster another boy too, and Harry had come to him very worried.

“What if I don’t like him, Lou?” Harry said, as they sat on Louis’ sofa watching the Simpsons. “What if he doesn’t like me? At least in school if someone is nasty to me I can go home and get away from them. But if they’re at home, then there’s nowhere I can go.”

“That’s not true. You can come here,” Louis told him. “Mum loves you. She won’t mind you calling over as often as you like.”

Harry turned to him, face open. “You sure, Lou?”

“’Course. Anyone makes you unhappy and you come straight to me, you got that Haz?”

“Got it,” Harry tells him with a smile.

It turns out Harry was right to be worried. The other boy’s name was Owen and he was _naughty_. Harry said he swore a lot at Anne and Robin, and he wouldn’t go to bed when he was told. And he was mean to Harry, taking the remote from him when Harry was trying to watch TV, or bullying him about his height.

(Harry was a bit short for his age, but only a little. Louis thought he was perfect anyway, and he made sure to tell Harry that.)

Owen was absent from school a lot because Anne couldn’t make him get out of bed and Robin left early in the mornings for work, so he wasn’t there to help either. Whenever he was in school however, Owen always caused some sort of drama. He was older than both Louis and Harry, so he wasn’t in the same year, but Louis still heard the stories from other kids in Owen’s class. The teacher was always shouting at him for misbehaving.

And Louis and Harry had to put up with him on the playground at break times. Owen had taken to seeking Harry out and teasing him for any little thing he could. He didn’t like Harry’s hair, or Harry’s clothes, or how Harry spoke. Louis always stuck up for Harry, but that only meant Owen picked on him. Still, it was better than seeing Harry upset.

Owen always went through the lunch Anne had packed Harry too, stealing the Penguin bar even though he knew it was Harry’s favourite, and even though Anne had packed one for him too in his own lunch. Louis thought Owen just liked being mean.

Louis tried to get Harry to tell Anne about how Owen treated him, but Harry wouldn’t. Even though he’d gotten a little more confident over the years, Harry was still very shy, and he didn’t feel that comfortable around anyone that wasn’t Louis or Robin or Anne. And even then he had bad days where he just liked to be left alone.

Louis knew Harry didn’t want to tell Anne and Robin because he didn’t like to cause any trouble for them. He confided in Louis that he was scared to think of his house as _home_ , because Anne and Robin could send him away any time they wanted. It meant he tried extra hard not to be any trouble for them, always doing his chores the minute he was asked, and never forgetting to do his homework so that they never had a reason to get rid of him. Louis didn’t think the Twists would ever get rid of Harry though. They loved him a lot, it was obvious.

After a few weeks went by, Owen’s behaviour was only getting worse. He said things to Harry that made him cry, and he never wanted to leave Louis’ house and go back to his own. Louis was worried, because Harry was getting quiet again, even around Louis, and that wasn’t good.

Louis had to do something.

The next time he went over to the Twists, he waited until Harry had gone to the bathroom, and then he went and found Anne in the kitchen. She was alone, thankfully. Owen tended to spend his time shut off in his room. “Um, excuse me,” he piped up, getting her attention. “Can I talk to you?”

He told her everything that had happened with Owen and Harry, and how he was worried that Owen was damaging Harry’s self-esteem. Self-esteem was very important, Louis had learnt that in school, but Harry didn’t seem to have a lot of it, even before Owen started picking on him.

Anne listened carefully to what he had to say, taking him very seriously. But just as Louis was finishing up, Harry walked into the room. “What are you doing out here, Lou?” he asked. “I thought you were gonna set a film up.”

Louis didn’t know how to reply, but he didn’t need to. Anne got there first. “I’m actually going to give Louis’ mum a ring, and get her to collect him. And then you and I are going to have a chat, okay? It’s not anything bad, and you’re not in trouble.”

Despite Anne’s words, Louis could see how Harry’s eyes widened in fear. Louis knew what Harry was thinking. He thought Anne was going to give him away or something. He had to speak up. “I told her about Owen,” Louis told Harry. “About him being mean to you.”

Harry was still for a moment, and then he shot Louis a look of betrayal. “I told you not to!” he exclaimed. “Now look, you’ve ruined everything!” With that, Harry stormed out of the room and Louis could hear him running up the stairs, ignoring Anne calling him back.

Louis felt terrible. He had to sit in the living room by himself as he waited for his mum because Harry had locked himself in his room and was refusing to come out. All Louis could do was sit and wonder if he’d done the right thing. Maybe he hadn’t. Maybe he’d only made Harry’s life more difficult.

When Louis’ mum arrived however, and when Anne walked him to the door, she bent and gave him a hug. “Thank you for telling me, dear,” she said, squeezing him tightly. It made Louis think that things were going to be okay.

The next day at school, Harry wouldn’t speak to him. He’d turn away whenever Louis tried to get his attention, and he even moved his chair so he didn’t have to sit next to Louis in class. Louis was hurt, but he tried not to show it. At lunchtime he played football, and tried not to worry about Harry being all by himself.

Honestly, Louis didn’t realise how long Harry could hold a grudge for. It turned out Harry had a stubborn streak Louis had never seen before, because he kept on ignoring Louis every single day. Louis tried not to let on how much it bothered him, but his mum kept asking why Harry wasn’t coming over to play anymore and Mr. Sullivan kept frowning whenever he saw them sitting apart.

They’d always sat together, but apparently things had changed.

 

This went on for almost an entire two weeks, _far_ too long in Louis’ opinion, when one day Louis went to the toilets at lunchtime. He was just washing his hands after taking a wee when he heard sniffling coming from one of the cubicles. He paused, unsure of what to do. If someone was upset, then he should probably help them, but he just didn’t know how.

Eventually Louis walked over to the cubicle and tapped on the door. “Are you okay in there?” he asked.

“Go away!” came a voice. One that Louis would recognise anywhere.

“ _Harry_?”

“I said, go away, Louis! I don’t want to talk to you!” But Louis couldn’t leave, not when Harry was crying.

“Open the door, Harry. Let me in,” he instructed.

“No,” Harry called back. Louis sighed. He could tell he wasn’t going to get anywhere like this.

That was okay. Louis could find his own way in.

He went into the cubicle beside Harry’s, climbing up onto the back of the toilet and clinging to the cubicle wall to keep his balance as he straightened up. Once he was steady, he peered over the top of the cubicle into Harry’s.

“Christ, Harry! What happened to your arm?” Louis blurted, and Harry’s head immediately snapped up.

“What are you doing?” Harry hissed angrily, pulling down his sleeve, but it was too late. Louis had already seen the myriad of bruises and red marks that trailed across his forearm.

“Who did that to you, Harry?” he demanded. His eyes narrowed. “Was it Owen?”

“Louis, stop it! Just stay out of it!”

“I can’t. Not if you’re getting hurt. I’m getting a teacher.” With that, Louis started clambering down off the toilet. He was just putting his feet on the ground when Harry burst into his cubicle.

“You can’t Louis. Please. Please don’t,” he begged. He looked desperate.

“Why not, Haz? You can’t let him get away with this.”

“Me and Owen promised Anne and Robin that we were gonna start getting along. If they find out there are still problems they’re gonna be really cross!”

“Not at you though, Haz. You’ve always been nice to Owen. It’s him who’s the bully. And now you’re getting hurt and everything!”

Louis insisted they go to the teacher’s lounge. Harry cried the whole way there, pulling on Louis’ arm and trying to get him to change his mind. It didn’t work. It was Ms. Ailsbury who answered the door when Louis knocked, and Louis was glad. She’d always been particularly nice to Harry.

Once Louis got Harry to show her the bruises she took action immediately. She sat Harry down with a glass of water, and then went to find the principal and ring Anne. She even let Louis stay with Harry, even though the bell had gone to signal lunch was over. Louis wouldn’t have left Harry anyway. He would’ve had to have been dragged back to class kicking and screaming.

By the time Anne arrived, Harry was still crying, but now his sobs sounded more like pathetic little hiccups than anything. Anne gave him a big hug, and told him everything was going to be alright, holding him close to her. She and Harry went to have a meeting with the principal then, and Louis wasn’t allowed go with them, no matter how much he complained. Ms. Ailsbury escorted him back to class, explaining to Mr. Sullivan why he was late so that he didn’t get in trouble.

After school, Anne rang his mum to tell her what happened. Apparently, she wanted to pass on her thanks to Louis. Owen had been behaving really well in front of her and Robin, and they’d thought he’d stopped being mean to Harry. If it hadn’t been for Louis, they wouldn’t have known that Owen was still causing problems. Now, Owen had been expelled from the school for an entire week, and Anne was going to meet with his social worker to decide if Owen could keep living with the Twists. According to Louis’ mum, the Twists had to make sure the house was safe for Harry, and that meant Owen might have to find somewhere else to live. Louis couldn’t say he wouldn’t be glad to see the back of him.

Harry wasn’t in school the next day, but the day after that was a Saturday, and Anne invited Louis over to the Twist’s house. He was a bit nervous about going, he and Harry hadn’t spoken properly in weeks, but his mum said she had to go to work, so it was either he went over to Harry’s or he went over to his great aunt’s house. He chose Harry’s.

When he went inside, Harry was sitting on the sofa, legs dangling off the edge. “So…” Louis started.

“Owen left last night,” Harry said quietly. “Anne and Robin said he couldn’t stay here because he was hurting me. He’s not even going to be at school with us anymore.”

“Mum said he might be leaving,” Louis replied. “You don’t look very happy about it.”

Harry shrugged. “I didn’t like Owen, but…”

“But?” Louis prompted.

“But what if they get rid of me the same way? If they decide I’m not good enough.”

“They wouldn’t do that,” Louis was quick to assure him. “Owen was _really_ bold, and he didn’t get better even after they told him off. And you’ve always been good. You’re nothing like Owen.”

Harry was silent for a moment. “Yeah?” he asked eventually.

“Yeah, definitely. Trust me.”

“Okay,” Harry said, swinging his feet. He looked up at Louis then. “I, um, I missed you, Lou.”

“Missed you too, Haz. Let’s not fight again?”

Harry smiled, nodding his head in agreement. “Never.”

 

*

 

It was a good thing he and Harry had stopped fighting, because Louis ended up having to go over to Harry’s house a lot. His mum always apologised to Anne whenever she dropped him over, but Anne always said she didn’t mind at all. Louis knew his mum had gotten really busy. She always had to work, and she was so tired when she got home from work that she didn’t have the energy to play with Louis, or help him with his homework, or _anything_.

Louis didn’t really understand why she had to work so much. It wasn’t fair! Louis asked her about it once, and she just said that they needed the money for rent and bills. He didn’t really get what she meant, but she seemed in a cross mood so he didn’t ask again.

“I don’t know what to do, Haz,” Louis complained one day as they sat doing homework at Harry’s kitchen table. “I barely even see my mum anymore, and even time I do see her she’s in a bad mood.”

Harry made a sympathetic noise and patted Louis on the back. “I’m sure she won’t be busy forever, Lou,” was all he said. Harry didn’t really understand. Anne didn’t work, so she was always around whenever Harry needed her.

“I just miss her,” Louis sighed, folding his arms on the table and resting his chin on them.

“Maybe you should tell her,” Harry suggested. After the Owen incident, Anne had started teaching Harry how important it was to speak about his problems, and now Harry wanted to talk about _everything_. Maybe it was good advice though.

At this point Louis would try anything.

 

Later that evening, when he and his mum were both at home, Louis sought her out. She was in the kitchen, heating up some meals for them in the microwave. “Mum,” Louis began, “can I talk to you?”

“Oh god, Louis,” his mum said, taking one of the meals out of the microwave and stirring it. “What is it now?” She sounded impatient.

“I was just thinking,” Louis started, “it’s been ages since we had a movie night or anything—”

“I can’t watch a movie with you tonight, Louis.”

“No, I know, but—”

“Oh for goodness sake!” his mum exclaimed, snatching her hand away from the meal she’d been stirring. Louis spotted an angry-looking red mark there before his mum rushed over to the tap and put her hand under the water.

It took a moment for Louis to realise his mum had started sobbing. A small thrum of panic ran through him. He’d never seen her cry before.

“Mummy, it’s okay,” he said, wandering over to her side and wrapping his arms around her middle. “Don’t cry, it’s only a small burn. I can get you a plaster if you’d like.” It only made her cry harder though.

“I don’t think I can go on like this,” she choked out. “Feeding you rubbish because I don’t even have time to cook, not being able to watch a film with you. God!” She rested her head in her hands, and Louis felt scared. He didn’t know what was wrong, and he didn’t know how to help. He just kept hugging her as hard as he could.

Eventually his mum pulled herself together. She spooned the microwave meal, some kind of curry, out onto a plate and then left him with it as she went to make some phone calls. Louis didn’t feel that hungry. He just felt sick. He knew something was wrong, he just didn’t know how to fix it.

The next few weeks however his mum’s mood seemed a little brighter, even though they were both busier than ever. They spent the evenings packing everything they had into boxes, unless they were things they really needed, and then his mum would drive the boxes over to Granny and Grandpa’s house. Louis’ mum said they were going to move in their as soon as the lease on their house ran out at the end of the month. She promised he’d still get to go to the same school though, and he’d still get to see Harry, so Louis didn’t mind.

His mum said things were going to be better from here on out, and Louis believed her.

 

*

 

Harry and Louis started at the same secondary school when they were both eleven. Louis was glad they were starting together, because he was incredibly nervous. It was completely different to primary, and it was a big change to get used to.

Harry wasn’t in all of his classes, which forced Louis to actually make friends with other people. He got talking to some boys called Zayn and Liam, who were both really nice. At lunchtime when they all went to meet up with Harry, he found Harry had made friends with an Irish boy named Niall. They all sat together, and it didn’t take long for them to feel at ease with each other. They just clicked.

It was lucky for Louis that the transition into secondary school was plain sailing, because at home things were very different. One downside of moving in with in grandparents and having his mum not work so much was that his mum had a lot more free time. And unfortunately she was using this free time to go on _dates_.

Harry said it was a good thing. Louis’ mum hadn’t had anyone since his dad had left, and that been when Louis was a baby. He said she was probably a bit lonely. Louis didn’t agree. How could she be lonely? She had him!

“This is stupid!” Louis moaned one Friday, as he and Harry ate tea in front of the telly. Anne had made them sausages and beans on toast and had said they could eat it in the living room provided they didn’t get tomato sauce everywhere. Louis was being very careful.

“What’s stupid?” Harry asked dutifully, although he probably already knew.

“My mum. Out with that new bloke, Mark. She’s all over him. Thinks he’s the nicest person ever.”

“I thought you said he was alright.”

“Yeah, but that was when I thought he was only gonna last a week like the others. But he’s been around for over a month now! Bloody Mark. I don’t trust him.”

“Hm,” Harry said noncommittally. “Y’know, your mum’s seemed happier lately.”

Louis turned to him. “Hey. Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing, Styles.”

Harry just smirked. “It’s the truth though.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis grumbled. He still wasn’t pleased about it. “Well, at least she said I could stay over here tonight.”

“You know why that is,” Harry waggled his eyebrows.

“What? Why?” Louis asked, confused.

Harry giggled. “Oh c’mon, Lou. You’ve watched enough romcoms to know about the third date rule. And Mark and Jay have been on loads of dates.”

Louis’ eyes widened. “No!” he exclaimed. “Oh god, no!”

Harry cackled loudly, entire head thrown back. “They’re gonna do it,” he said gleefully.

“Shut up,” Louis said, grabbing a cushion and whacking him on top of his head with it. “Shut up, shut up!”

Harry picked up a cushion too, and Louis scrambled to get his plate of baked beans out of the firing line before descending into a full out pillow fight with Harry, giggling so hard his sides hurt.

Later that night though, as Louis was lying on a mattress on the floor in Harry’s room, he found himself tossing and turning, unable to switch off his brain. He thought Harry had gone to sleep long and ever ago until the other boy groaned and flicked on the light.

“I can _hear_ you thinking,” Harry said. “What’s wrong?”

“I just… Do you really think it could be a good thing? My mum and Mark?”

Harry rubbed at his eyes, sitting up a little. “I really do, Lou.”

“But… why? Like you said she might be lonely, but why would she be? She’s got me, and Nan, and Grandpa. And she has friends from work.”

“It’s not the same though, is it?” Harry asked. “There’s nothing like falling in love.”

Louis made a face. “How would you know?”

Harry shrugged. “They wouldn’t write all those books about it, make all those films, if it wasn’t something special. And your mum deserves something special, yeah?”

And well. Louis couldn’t argue with that.

 

When his mum picked him up the next day, Louis couldn’t get what Harry had said out of his head. His mum looked happier and more relaxed than Louis had seen her in a long time, singing along to old 80s hits on the car radio, and it occurred to him that maybe Harry was right.

“Um, Mum? Can I talk to you?” Louis asked, fiddling with the sleeves on his hoody. He couldn’t look at her.

“Of course, Lou,” his mum replied, immediately turning down the volume on the radio. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, everything’s good, it’s just…” He took a deep breath. “Um, I just wanted to say that Mark seems really nice. And if you like him, then I like him. And, um, I’m happy that you have someone who can make you smile like he does. So…”

Louis trailed off, but the silence was left hanging. He mum didn’t say a word. Eventually Louis lifted his head to look at her, and was shocked to see tears on her cheeks.

“Mum, what’s wrong?” he asked worriedly.

“Oh Louis, darling, I love you so much, you know that?”

“I know, Mum. Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s perfect. I happen to have the loveliest boy ever as my son. Everything’s absolutely perfect.”

“Mum,” Louis whined, because it always made his tummy squirm whenever she got sappy.

“Sorry, love,” his mum laughed, wiping at her eyes. “I’m just glad you’re okay with me seeing Mark. I- I think he may be sticking around.”

“Oh,” Louis said. “Well then. Good.”

His mum just kept on laughing in short bursts the entire ride home. And yeah, Louis was definitely okay with anything that made her _that_ happy.

 

*

 

Louis got his first girlfriend when he was fourteen. Her name was Hannah, and she was blonde with a cute face and an even cuter laugh. Louis liked walking down the corridors in school holding her hand, because everyone would turn to look at them, especially the other boys in his year. Louis knew most of them had never even kissed a girl, never mind had a proper girlfriend. Seeing their jealous looks made him feel like he’d achieved something, as silly as that was.

(Liam was especially jealous. He’d been trying to get Hannah’s friend Danielle to notice him for _ages_.)

Hannah was a good mate too. She was really funny, and not only did she not mind Louis playing video games whenever she came over to his, but she even liked playing them with him. It was great.

The only problem was Harry didn’t like her, and Louis couldn’t work out why.

“Maybe he’s jealous,” Niall said at lunchtime one day. It was just the four of them sitting around a table in the cafeteria. Harry was at the library because he had a big exam, and he was using his break to study.

“What do you mean?” Louis frowned.

“Well, we’re all lads of a certain age. And that means we’ve got certain needs. I mean, I popped a stiffy in maths this morning just from dropping my pencil on the floor. Now you’ve got someone to meet your needs, maybe Harry’s realising he wants someone too.”

Louis felt a small sting of guilt at Niall’s words. He may have been letting on to the boys that he and Hannah and gone farther than they had. In reality, they’d barely done anything. One time Hannah had put her hand over his crotch while they were snogging, but she hadn’t moved it or anything, and he hadn’t asked her to. And sometimes Hannah could spend the entire evening at Louis’ and they wouldn’t even kiss.

Video games were more fun anyway, really.

“Yeah,” Louis mused. “Maybe.” Niall’s explanation didn’t make that much sense though. Harry was very good-looking, at least that’s what all the girls said. Even the girls in older years had noticed him. He could find someone no problem, anytime he wanted.

“Maybe he’s jealous ‘cause you’re spending so much time with Hannah,” Zayn suggested. “You are Harry always were closer than the rest of us. The dream team. Maybe he just misses you, man.”

Louis considered it. He had been neglecting Harry a bit recently, at least compared to how much they used to hang out. Zayn was right, he could probably do with making more time for Harry.

“I’ll talk to him about doing something together this weekend,” Louis decided. “Hey, did I tell you guys Mark is planning to propose to my mum?”

“Really?” Liam asked. “You never mentioned it!”

“He only told me he was going to a few nights ago. Asked my permission and everything.”

“It’s about time,” Niall said. “Considering he knocked her up and everything.”

“Niall, please,” Louis chastised. He didn’t like to think too much about the fact his mum was pregnant. His whole entire life it had just been him and his mum against the world, but a lot of things had changed in the past couple of years. They’d moved into Mark’s house, and he and Mum had been sickeningly lovey dovey with each other. Honestly, they were worse than teenagers. And then a few months ago, Mum had found out she was _pregnant_.

It’s not that Louis had anything against the idea of siblings in _theory_ , but he just wasn’t sure having a little brother or sister was for him. Even with Mark around, Louis had always known he was the person his mum loved most in all the world. Now? Now things were very different, and he wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

Louis finished up his lunch quickly, wanting to get away from the conversation. “I’m gonna go find Hannah, yeah? I’ll see you guys in English.”

And then Louis was up and gone, a round of “Bye Tommo,” following him as he walked out of the room.

 

That weekend, Louis went over to Harry’s house. Anne had said it was okay if he stayed the night, so he’d come armed with snacks and cheesy horror movies. They were going to do this properly.

They were halfway through The Omen 3, Louis’ head resting in Harry’s lap, when Harry spoke up.

“So, you didn’t have plans with Hannah tonight then?”

Louis shrugged as best he could while lying down. “Wanted to do something with you, didn’t I?”

Harry beamed at that, big and wide. He had an incredible smile, all white teeth and dimples denting his cheeks.

“Plus,” Louis added, “I can’t talk to Hannah like I can to you.”

“Oh,” Harry said, smile fading. “You need to talk, Lou?”

Louis shifted a little, then sat up. “Um, maybe. It’s just…”

He paused, taking his time to figure out what to say next. Harry didn’t rush him.

“It’s just Mum. And the new baby. I don’t really know how to feel about it.”

Harry pondered his words. “That’s normal, you know. Having a sibling is a big change. It’s okay if it takes you a while to adjust to it. I mean, you remember when Owen lived here? I was really upset when I heard he was coming to stay, just ‘cause I thought Mum might like him more than me. I've always been kinda glad they never tried fostering again.”

Mum. That’s what Harry called Anne now, and he called Robin dad. Louis wasn’t even sure when the change had happened, it had just trickled in gradually over the years. Louis was glad. Anne, Robin and Harry – they were a proper family, and Louis knew Anne and Robin loved Harry like he was their own son.

“I dunno why you were so worried,” Louis snorted. “No one could like Owen more than you. He was fucking horrible.” He made a face. “Oh god, what if my baby brother or sister is a mini-Owen? I’d have to _live_ with that.”

“Louis,” Harry said, rolling his eyes. “It’ll just be a baby. All it’ll do is shit and cry. And yes your mum and Mark will love it, but that doesn’t mean they won’t love you too.”

“I know that they’ll love me, but it’s just… they won’t love _only_ me.”

Harry laughed. “You’ve never sounded more like an only child.”

“Shut up,” Louis whined, but his heart wasn’t in it. He knew he sounded spoiled, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted _all_ his mum’s love. He lay back down, closing his eyes and moving his head in Harry’s lap until he found a comfortable position. “Feed me some popcorn, Styles,” he commanded once he was comfy.

“Uhhh, yeah. Yeah, sure,” Harry said, sounding flustered for some reason. Louis cracked his eyes open. Harry’s cheeks were flushed pink, and he seemed very intent on picking out the perfect piece of popcorn. Louis didn’t know what had happened, so he decided to ignore it.

“C’mon. Feed me,” he repeated, prodding Harry in the leg. Harry jumped a little, but he did what he was told.

 

Charlotte Rose Tomlinson was born a few months later, in August. Louis was surprised at just how tiny she was. And, to be honest, how ugly. Babies on TV always looked pale-skinned and bright-eyed, but Lottie was a deep purple, and Louis could see her veins spread out underneath her skin. She reminded him of an alien.

His mum didn’t think so though. “Oh, isn’t she beautiful?” she cooed, cradling the baby in her arms as she sat in her hospital bed. “Like a little doll.”

“She’s perfect,” Mark agreed. He hadn’t stopped crying.

Louis thought they were both mad.

Eventually though, when it got round to his turn to hold her, Louis _sort of_ saw what they meant. Maybe it was kind of sweet, how her tiny fingers reached to grip around his, and how her little lips pursed like they were trying to blow bubbles.

Maybe Lottie wasn’t _all_ bad.

Except then they took her home, and Louis suddenly learned exactly what people meant when they said babies cried a lot. Lottie honestly never stopped. Day or night her wailing filled the house, to the point where Louis found himself escaping over to Harry’s more and more, just so he could get some _sleep_.

“Bloody hell, Haz. She’s terrorising me. I think she must be doing it on purpose at this point.”

“She’s just a baby,” Harry scoffed.

“She is _not_ just a baby. She’s the spawn of Satan.”

Harry laughed, rich and throaty. His voice had gotten so much deeper recently. Louis liked the way it sounded.

“You’re so dramatic, Lou,” Harry told him. “Surprised you haven’t tried out for the drama club in school.”

“Huh. Actually, never thought of it.”

“Maybe you should,” Harry suggested. “School starts back in a month, and they’ll be looking for new members.”

“I've never acted before though,” Louis pointed out. “I probably won’t be good enough.”

“The least you can do is try, right?” Harry said. Harry was always an optimist. He always thought things would just work out for the better. Louis admired it, honestly.

“I’ll see,” Louis told him. He was genuinely going to think about it. He did love drama, after all.

“How’s Hannah?” Harry asked after a moment of silence.

“Um…” Louis hesitated. “I’m not sure, actually.” The truth was he hadn’t seen Hannah much over the summer holidays. There just didn’t seem to be much point. Sure she was great to play video games with, but Louis could do that with any of his friends. And he was starting to realise that that was what Hannah was – a friend and nothing more.

“You’re not sure?”

“I just haven’t been talking to her a lot. I haven’t even texted her since last Friday. I dunno… I’m thinking about breaking up with her.”

Harry said nothing, offering no opinion. That wasn’t good enough, Louis needed to know what he was thinking.

“Do you think it’s a good idea, Haz?” he asked. “I just feel like she isn’t really my girlfriend, you know? She’s just a mate that I snog occasionally.”

“Well if that’s how you feel, then yeah. I think you should break up with her. No point in carrying on a relationship if there’s no spark, right?”

Louis nodded. “You’re right. How come you’re always right, Haz? You’ve never even had a girlfriend.”

Harry looked a bit uncomfortable. “I might read Mum’s magazines sometimes. They’re full of relationship advice.”

“Do you really? God, maybe I should start stealing my mum’s. Might actually learn a thing or two.”

Harry seemed relieved. “It’s girly stuff mostly,” he confided like it was a secret. “But some of it is… interesting.”

“Well, if they say it’s a good idea to break up with Hannah, then who I am to argue?”

Breaking up with Hannah was horrible. She cried a lot, proper devastated sobs. Apparently she’d been planning on telling Louis she loved him and everything. Louis didn’t know she felt like that about him. For him, he didn’t feel anywhere near close to developing those kinds of feelings. He’d never even thought about it.

It made him glad he’d broken up with her actually. He didn’t know what he would’ve done if she’d actually said the L-word to him. He would’ve panicked probably, and said it back even though he didn’t mean it. It would’ve been a disaster.

Louis didn’t think he was really ready for a relationship, to be honest. He resolved to stay away from girls in future, at least for a little while.

 

*

 

It was almost midnight on the night before Harry’s sixteenth birthday when Louis’ phone started ringing. Louis grumbled, irritated, as he reached out to grab it from his bedside locker. He had just been drifting off to sleep.

“Hello?” he answered unenthusiastically.

“Lou! It’s Harry. Are you awake?”

“I am now,” Louis told him.

“Oh,” Harry replied, not sounding a bit sorry. “Well, good! Can you meet up with me? Maybe down by the old quarry?”

“Now? Harry, it’s a school night.”

“Pleeeeease Louis! I've got some news. It’s big, and I can’t tell you it over the phone.”

The excitement in Harry’s voice was undeniable, and Louis always was too curious for his own good.

“For fuck sake, Haz,” he sighed. “Fine. I’ll be there. I’ll be fifteen minutes or so.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Thank you so much, Lou. See you in a bit.”

Harry hung up, and Louis hauled himself out of his nice warm bed. He grabbed the first hoody he found on his bedroom floor, giving it a quick sniff before deeming it passable and pulling it on. He followed the small ritual with a pair of tracksuit bottoms, and then toed on some trainers.

He wandered down the stairs quietly, careful not to wake anybody in his family up. His mum and Mark were rather lenient on him, what with Lottie and the new baby Felicite taking up most of their parental energy, but his mum still wouldn’t take it kindly if she caught him sneaking out this late.

The walk to the quarry wasn’t long, but Harry was already waiting for him by the time Louis arrived. Louis took a moment to take in his appearance. Harry was growing quickly now. He’d always been small, but recently he’d shot up like a weed. He’d actually drawn level with Louis in height, and was even threatening to overtake him, to Louis’ slight dismay. It was amusing though, watching as Harry suddenly had all these long limbs that he had no idea what to do with. He was incredibly clumsy.

Harry had a massive smile on his face, and he greeted Louis with a hug, squeezing him tight. “C’mon, let’s go down to the waterside,” he suggested. “I’ll tell you everything there.”

The quarry had a rainwater lake that had formed in the middle. It was dangerous to swim in, but every teenager in town happily ignored that fact on sunny days in the summer. Harry led Louis down to a spot near the water and Louis discovered he’d already lain a blanket out there, protecting them a little from the dewy grass.

“Sit,” Harry instructed, following his own words. He patted a space beside him, and Louis was quick to do as he was told.

“What’s this news you had to tell me then?” he asked once he was settled.

Harry grinned. “Mum and Dad gave me my birthday present tonight. I think they were too excited to wait until tomorrow.”

“Oh?” Louis raised an eyebrow. “What is it? Do you have it here?” He glanced around, spying Harry’s schoolbag that he’d brought along. Harry followed his line of vision.

“It’s not in there,” Harry told him. “But actually…” He reached over and grabbed the bag, pulling open the zipper. “I do have _this_.” With that, he produced a bottle of Jack Daniels.

“Where’d you get that?” Louis asked.

“It’s Dad’s. But he won’t notice it’s gone. Someone bought it for him as a present but he doesn’t even drink whiskey. It’s just been gathering dust at the back of the drinks cabinet.”

“You want us to drink it?” Louis asked. He felt a frisson of anticipation. It wasn’t like he hadn’t drank before, but the fact that he was underage always gave it an exciting air of illicitness.

Harry nodded. “To celebrate. Once I tell you about my present.”

“Well fucking tell me then,” Louis demanded.

“Okay, okay. Um, Mum and Dad… They’ve said they want to officially adopt me.”

“Oh my god. Harry, that’s brilliant!” Louis exclaimed.

“Yeah,” Harry said, eyes gleaming with happy tears. “They have all the paperwork and everything. It’s just a matter of getting it all finalised.” He wiped at his eyes, obviously emotional. “Sorry,” he said unnecessarily, “It’s a bit silly. I know they’ve kind of been my parents for years now, but this is… different. Like even when I’m eighteen and out of state care they’ll still be there, you know? They get to be my parents forever.”

Louis knew how much this meant to Harry. “Oh, Haz,” he said, a bit choked up himself. He launched himself at the other boy, wrapping him a hug. “Fuck, I’m so happy for you.”

Harry laughed breathily, holding him back. “So now you see why I brought the Jack, yeah? Let’s forget about school tomorrow and have a few drinks.”

“Fuck. Yeah, let’s do it. Did you bring any glasses? Or any mixer?”

“We didn’t have any mixer at home,” Harry said sheepishly. “And I was scared to bring glasses in case they broke in my bag. It’s alright though, we’re hardcore. We can handle it straight from the bottle.”

“Yeah, ‘course we can. It’s fine,” Louis assured him.

Harry cracked open the bottle and took the first swig, wincing as he swallowed. He passed the bottle off to Louis, who did the same. “God, that stuff is horrible,” Louis remarked. “No wonder Robin doesn’t drink it.”

“It tastes like petrol,” Harry agreed. He took another gulp of it anyway.

After about five minutes of he and Harry trading the bottle back and forth, Louis was feeling pleasantly buzzed. His fingers were tingling, and he could barely even feel the chill in the cold winter air. “Shit, I think I’m actually getting used to the taste.”

“Ugh, at least one of us is then,” Harry told him. “I still think it’s horrid.”

“Aw, poor baby Haz,” Louis teased.

“’m not a baby,” Harry sulked. “It must be past midnight by now. So I’m sixteen, same age as you.”

“Shit,” Louis said, scrambling for his phone. “I hope it hasn’t passed midnight. I wanted to wish you happy birthday right on the dot.” Luckily when he checked his phone he it was still three minutes to twelve.

He and Harry sat watching the minutes tick down together, taking sips of whiskey as they waited. Harry rested his head on Louis’ shoulder, and Louis had to resist the urge to wrap an arm around him.

“Almost there,” Louis said, after the 11:59 had been showing on the screen of his phone for a while. Sure enough, he’d barely finished speaking before it switched to 12:00. Midnight.

“Happy birthday, Haz,” Louis whispered, turning to face the boy beside him. Harry was staring right back, eyes slightly glassy. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes flicked all over Louis’ face, from his eyes right down to his lips…

In the end, Louis wasn’t even sure how it happened. All he knew is that one second later Harry’s lips were pressed to his. They stayed like that, frozen for a moment, until Louis slowly started to move, pushing his lips softly against Harry’s. Harry did the same, and Louis felt Harry’s hand come up to grip and his waist.

It spurred him on, gave him the bit of bravery he needed to nudge his tongue against Harry’s bottom lip, and he almost collapsed in relief when he felt Harry’s own mouth part in response, allowing his access.

Louis’ hand travelled up to Harry’s hair, burying itself in his springy curls. His tongue was slick against Harry’s, curling around it as they moved in unison.

Louis’ entire body felt like it was on fire, like there were like flames licking the whole way up his spine. He couldn’t get enough of harder, of kissing him, of _tasting_ him.

It was only when Harry moaned and dug his fingers into Louis’ hip that Louis fully realised what was happening. This wasn’t just anyone he was snogging, it was _Harry_. Harry who was his best friend _and_ a boy. With a startled gasp Louis pushed Harry off him, keeping him at arm’s length.

“I—” he started, before cutting himself off. Harry was looking at his with wide eyes, lips still wet with saliva, and Louis didn’t know what to say.

“Oh god, I have to go,” Louis blurted, hurrying to his feet. “I’ll see you in school tomorrow.” With that he was racing away, the blood pounding loudly in his ears making it impossible to hear Harry’s cries calling him back.

Louis woke up the next morning before seven. He had just enough time to make it to the toilet before he was promptly sick, hacking up everything he had drank the night before in great heaving gasps. His mum clearly heard, rushing into the bathroom just as he was reaching for some tissue to wipe his mouth.

“Oh love, are you ill?” she asked, placing a cool hand on his forehead. His skin was clammy enough that it could pass for sickness and she tutted gently. “You can’t go to school like this,” she announced. “I’ll give them a ring and say you’re not feeling well.”

Louis couldn’t argue. What was he supposed to say – ‘I’m not sick, I’m hungover’? No way. Plus, he was secretly delighted his mum was going to let him stay home from school. He couldn’t face seeing Harry just yet.

The memories of last night were annoyingly vivid in Louis’ mind, somehow not fogged at all from the alcohol. He remembered every slide of Harry’s lips against his, the slick wetness of his tongue…

Even as he recalled the kiss, Louis could feel a small fluttering in his stomach, in his groin, and shit. _Shit_. He’d liked it. He’d liked kissing a boy, liked kissing _Harry_. What did that mean? Was he gay?

Oh god, he might be _gay_. Shit shit shit.

In the end, Louis just groaned and then made his way back to bed, curling up in the covers and trying not to die. He was far, _far_ too hungover to deal with this right now.

He felt better around midday, hangover passing, and his mum attributed his short illness to some weird bug. “It’s a good thing you’re feeling better,” she noted. “You’re meant to be going around to Harry’s tonight, aren’t you? Anne mentioned he was planning on having a sleepover for his birthday, and I know it’d kill you to miss it.”

For the first time in his life, Louis wished his mum could be a little less supportive of his and Harry’s friendship. As it was, she wouldn’t let him back out of Harry’s birthday sleepover unless he was honestly on the verge of death. As least the other boys would be there too, it wouldn’t just be him and Harry. He wasn’t sure about how to act around him just yet.

Stumbling out of bed, Louis packed and got himself ready. His mind raced over everything he could possibly say to Harry, every excuse he could make for his behaviour, but they all sounded weak and pathetic to his ears. In the end, Louis had to accept the truth, and the truth was that he had wanted to kiss Harry so he did.

His only hope was that Harry was too drunk to remember the whole bloody night. When he went over to Harry’s though, it was Anne who greeted him at the door, and Louis knew he had no such luck. Harry _always_ answered the door when he knew it was Louis, no matter what. “Come on in, Louis,” Anne told him, “The other boys are just in the living room.”

Louis thanked her and then wandered in. Harry, Zayn, Niall and Liam were there, all still in their school uniforms. Harry clearly hadn’t skived off like him then. Everyone said hello to him, but Harry’s hello was definitely less enthused than usual, and he wasn’t meeting Louis’ eye. Which… okay. Louis had been hoping that they could just put what had happened last night behind them, pretend it never happened, but Harry just seemed to have settled on pretending that Louis didn’t exist.

It stung more than Louis would like to admit.

The boys caught him up on everything that had happened at school, talking all over each other so that Louis could barely make sense of what they were saying. Harry was quiet though, just rubbing his thumb against his trousers and chewing on his lower lip.

They had pizza for dinner and birthday cake for dessert, and they crowded up in front of the telly to watch movies all night. Niall had brought over the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy, and normally Louis loved the Lord of the Rings, but now he found he just couldn’t pay attention. His eyes kept flickering to Harry, who was sandwiched in between Zayn and Liam. He was pretty sure Harry was watching him too, the other boy’s eyes darting away suspiciously whenever Louis glanced his way.

Louis was a bit irritated, to be honest. Sure, what had happened was strange and confusing, and sure, maybe Harry needed some time to think about it, but he still didn’t appreciate being blanked. He was Harry’s _best friend_ , and the kiss… it hadn’t been that bad. In fact, as he thought about it more and more, Louis realised that _he_ had actually really enjoyed it. That he wouldn’t particularly mind repeating it…

Louis was so lost in his thoughts he barely even registered the movies they were meant to be watching. He wasn’t the only one not really paying attention though. Halfway through the Two Towers, Zayn had dosed off and Niall wasn’t far behind him, slumped over the arm of the sofa. Liam’s mum had texted to say she was on the way to collect him, because he had a doctor’s appointment about his kidney in the morning and couldn’t stay the night. Once she was outside, Liam whispered his goodbyes to Louis and then he left, Harry going with him in order to let him out.

Louis sat by himself for a short moment, taking in Zayn’s soft snuffles and Niall’s heavy breathing. When he heard the front door click closed however, he hopped up. He wasn’t gonna let Harry keep ignoring him all night. Harry was his _best friend_ , so what if they kissed? They should at least be able to talk about it.

He ran out into the hallway just as Harry was about to head back into the living room, and they almost collided head on.

“Shit. What are you doing, Louis?” Harry gasped. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“We need to talk,” was all Louis said. Harry’s face immediately closed over.

“We don’t,” he said stubbornly.

“Yes we do!”

“No, Louis—”

“Harry, you can’t even look at me right now!” Louis tried to keep his voice down, aware of Anne and Robin sleeping upstairs and the other boys snoozing next door. He was angry though, and it was difficult.

“Look, Harry,” Louis continued. “You look miserable. It’s your _birthday_ , and you look miserable. Tell me what I can do to fix it.”

“Nothing, Lou. There’s nothing you can do. We kissed and then you ran away and I’m embarrassed, alright? I’m so, so embarrassed!” Harry’s eyes looked watery, like he was holding back tears.

“I’m sorry, Harry,” Louis said. “I’m sorry, it’s just- you’re my mate and we were drunk, and I- I panicked a bit. I wasn’t expecting it and I…” Louis took a deep breath, steeling himself to say his next words. He stared down at the floor, summoning up the courage.

“I wasn’t expecting to like it.”

He was greeted with silence from Harry. Louis wanted to lift his eyes, wanted to see Harry’s reaction, but he couldn’t do it.  

In the end, it took a pair of feet making their way into his field of vision for Louis to finally look up. Harry was closer, just an arm’s length away, wondering expression on his face.

“You liked it?” he asked softly.

“Um,” Louis said brilliantly.

“Louis, did you like it?” Harry repeated firmly.

“Yeah,” Louis answered, voice hoarse. “I’m sorry if that’s weird, ‘cause I know we’re supposed to be mates, but yeah. I liked it. I liked kissing you.”

Suddenly Harry’s hands were cupping his jaw, and Louis could feel his breath hot across his face. “It’s not weird, it’s not. I- God, Louis I liked it too. I loved it. You have no idea, _no_ _idea_ , how long I've been wanting to kiss you. I _still_ want to kiss you.”

Harry was so close, and Louis couldn’t help leaning into him, pressing their foreheads together. “Me too,” he whispered. “Me too.”

And then Harry’s lips were on his, mouths moulding together, frenetic, frantic. Louis could feel little sparks of electricity zing down his spine and spread out across his body, making his fingers and toes tingle. It had never felt like this before, not with Hannah, not with any of the other girls he’d kissed. It had never felt so _right_.

Louis wasn’t sure how much time passed before they pulled apart, lips pink and swollen. “Happy birthday, Haz,” he told the other boy.

Harry grinned widely. “Best birthday ever,” he replied. “I love you, you know. In case you haven’t gathered.”

And looking at Harry, beautiful, bright Harry, the aftershocks of their kiss still rattling around his body, Louis knew he felt the same. Knew it without any doubt.

“I love you too.”

They kissed for a little while longer until Harry sheepishly admitted he really needed to pee. While Harry darted off to the bathroom, Louis wandered back into the living room in search of forgotten snacks. Entering the room, Louis noticed that Niall’s eyes were closed, but his lips were twitching like he was fighting a grin.

He decided not to mention it.

 

*

_The Present_

 

Louis is panicking, and he can admit that. It’s just, he’s known Harry _forever_ , even if they haven’t been officially together for more than a few months. It’s been the two of them through everything, through all the little ups and downs life offered. Harry means everything to him and tonight… tonight he’s going to _prove_ that.

His fingers fumble over his tie, unable to get it knotted properly. “Mark!” he yells, “can you come here a minute?”

Mark’s at his bedroom door in moments, pausing in the doorway as he takes Louis in. “Oh Louis,” he sighs. “You’ve grown up to be such a handsome boy. And you know it makes me and your mother very proud.”

Louis blushes. “Mark,” he protests weakly. He’s never been brilliant at showing love with Mark, even after all these years. He definitely does love him though, he hopes Mark understands that.

“Sorry, lad,” Mark says, ruffling a hand through Louis’ hair. “What did you want me for?”

“I can’t get the knot right,” Louis points to his tie. Mark immediately bats his hands away and sets about tying it properly.

“Excited for tonight?” Mark asks, as he finishes up, pushing the knot up so that it’s snug against Louis’ neck.

“Yeah, I guess. A bit nervous too,” he says honestly.

“I’m not surprised. Your Year Eleven ball, it’s a big night. I think you’re very brave, you know. To take Harry as your date.”

Louis nods, even though that isn’t quite true. After all, the entire school already knows about him and Harry. Once they got together, they never made any secret of it. Hardly anyone cared anyway \- they didn’t even attract that many strange looks when they walked down the corridors hand in hand.

“Speaking of,” Louis says, checking his watch, “I said we’d pick him up at half six, so I’d better get going. Do I look okay?” He spreads his arms wide so Mark can see how the tux fits on him, and gives a quick twirl.

“Like I said,” Mark affirms, “very handsome.”

“Thanks Mark.” On a whim, Louis reaches out and gives him a quick hug, releasing him again before he even has a chance to respond properly. He catches a glimpse of Mark’s slightly shell-shocked expression as he pulls away and says, “I’ll see you later.”

With that, he’s bounding down the stairs, and making to head out the door. “I’m going now, Mum,” he yells into the house.

“Louis, don’t you dare!” his mum shouts back from the kitchen. “I haven’t even had a proper look at you.”

Louis rolls his eyes - he’d kind of been hoping to avoid this part really – but it’s too late now. His mum bustles into the hallway, and immediately stops when she catches sight of Louis, putting a hand over her mouth. “Oh, Louis…” she starts, sounding choked up already.

“Mum, you’ve seen me in this before. You were there when I bought it,” Louis points out, praying she won’t start crying. He hates when she cries, even when they’re happy tears.

“Shush, Louis, let me have my moment. God, look at you. You’re my baby and now you’re all grown up.”

Louis groans, but he doesn’t argue, spinning around when she tells him to and letting her take it all in. He really does have to go though, as he reminds her eventually.

“Have you got everything?” his mum asks, just as he’s about to leave. “Phone, wallet, keys?”

“Yes, Mum. They’re all here,” he says, patting his various pockets.

“Good, good. Have fun tonight, love. And be good to Harry.”

“I will,” Louis tells her. His cheeks are so red Louis thinks they’ll never stop burning. His mum was delighted when he and Harry got together, and Louis’ pretty sure in her mind she already considers Harry her son-in-law. It’s both incredibly lovely and horribly embarrassing. “I have to go or I’ll be late, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He kisses her on the cheek and then finally heads out the door. He’s walking to Harry’s - it’s not far - but he’s arranged for a taxi to pick them both up from there and take them to the hotel the ball is being held in.

Anne lets him in, telling him Harry is just finishing getting ready. Louis doesn’t mind. The ball doesn’t start until seven, so they have time. Louis waits at the bottom of the stairs, taking out his phone and playing a quick round of Candy Crush.

He’s interrupted by someone clearing their throat and his eyes snap up to the figure at the top of the stairs and-

And…

And, _shit_.

“Harry,” Louis breathes. “You look… amazing.” And he does, but at the same time amazing doesn’t cover it. He’s wearing a tux like Louis, but the cut is a little different, and his tie is a deep emerald green. His messy curls have been tamed, just a little, so they look a little more artfully dishevelled and a little less like an overgrown bush.

“Thanks,” Harry tells him, smile so wide his cheeks must ache. “You look incredible too.”

“You both look wonderful,” Anne remarks. Louis hadn’t even noticed her wandering out into the hallway. “Louis, go stand beside Harry on the stairs, I want to take some pictures.”

Harry grumbles a little, but Louis knows he secretly loves it. Loves when his mum lavishes him with attention. Harry’s adoption had been approved, and they were just ironing out the final few wrinkles in order for it to become official.

Louis stands beside Harry, taking the other boy’s hands in his and grinning cheesily at the camera. Anne snaps a few pictures, and in the last ones Harry leans over and presses his lips against Louis’ cheek.

They’re interrupted when Louis’ phone rings - it’s the driver letting him know that their taxi’s waiting outside. Anne sees them out.

“Goodbye boys,” she calls. “Have fun and be safe!” Louis cringes, and he can tell Harry does too. They both hurry to the car before Anne can say much else.

Once they arrive at the hotel, they seek out Zayn and Niall immediately. Liam’s around too, but he’s off with Danielle somewhere. He’s been over the moon ever since she agreed to be his date. Honestly, he hasn’t shut up about it. Zayn and Niall were both going on their own. Louis had joked with Zayn that really that meant they were going together, and Zayn had just raised his eyebrows in response and _oh_. Maybe.

Anyway, Harry and Louis eventually find their friends over by the hotel bar. Niall’s trying to argue that the person on the I.D.  he borrowed from his cousin _is_ actually him, and Zayn is trying to argue in his defence. They’re having no luck, unfortunately.

“You’re clearly here for the Year Eleven ball, Niall, they know you’re not old enough to buy alcohol,” Louis says, sidling up close to him at the bar.

“Worth a try though, isn’t it?” Niall counters, but he sighs and gives up, tucking the I.D. back into his wallet.

“Don’t worry,” Louis whispers in his ear. “I've got a hipflask full of vodka tucked into the waistband of my pants anyway.”

“You have?” Niall turns to him, eyes bright. “Legend!”

The ball begins with a meal, and then a local band play a few songs. After that, there’s a DJ, and Harry forces Louis to dance with him whenever a song he likes comes on. Louis can’t dance at all, but he likes to see Harry smile so he indulges him.

Zayn asks Niall to dance too, and Louis can’t help the warm feeling in his chest whenever he looks over at his friends. They’re standing close together and just swaying to the beat, even through the fast songs. They look lost in each other, and Louis feels weirdly like a proud parent. He suddenly gets how his mum feels about him and Harry.

The dance draws to a close, and Louis’ feet are aching and his hip flask’s empty. Harry’s cradled in his arms, chin resting on Louis’ shoulder as they hold each close in the centre of the dance floor. “You wanna go upstairs?” Louis asks, pressing a kiss to the other boy’s hair. He’d booked a room a week ago, both him and Harry agreeing that they wanted one.

He feels Harry nod, and then they pull apart. Harry’s smiling at him, looking so happy and full of love that it takes Louis’ breath away. He always wants his boy to look at him like that. They walk to the room hand in hand, never taking their eyes off of each other.

Once they’re there however, Louis starts feeling a little jittery. They’d spoken about tonight, had planned everything out, but it’s actually happening now and it’s all a little overwhelming. Harry seems fine, loosening his tie and discarding it on the floor and kicking off his shoes, before throwing himself down on the bed. Louis doesn’t know how he’s so calm. He feels like he can’t breathe properly.

“Do we just start by kissing then?” Louis asks. Oh god, how do people even start having sex? Should he take his clothes off now, or wait until he and Harry are a bit more in the mood? Shit, he doesn’t fucking now. Maybe he could run to the bathroom, google it on his phone…

Harry giggles. “You’re so nervous! I don’t think I've ever seen you like this.”

“Well this is important, Harry. We’re gonna remember this for the rest of our lives. I don’t wanna mess up.”

“You’re not gonna mess up,” Harry says, and then he’s standing and walking over to Louis, throwing his arms around his neck. “You can’t mess up, because I love you, and you love me, and that means however we do this, it’s gonna be perfect.”

Harry sounds so earnest, so sure, that Louis can’t help but start to believe him. Harry leans in and kisses him, softly and gently, and Louis can feel his worries evaporate.

“I do love you, you know,” Louis whispers against Harry’s lips, can feel Harry’s answering nod.

“’Course I know. Now come sit on the bed with me.” Harry takes him by the hand and walks Louis over, pausing every so often to press a sweet kiss to his mouth, or his cheek, or his temple.

When they get to the bed, Harry climbs on and then shuffles back so that he’s resting against the pillows. He looks at Louis, face completely open and trusting.

Louis opens his mouth, but Harry cuts him off. “Before you ask, yes I am one hundred percent completely sure. I've been in love with you since I was thirteen. At _least_ thirteen. I want this. I want it to be you.”

And who is Louis to argue with that? He crawls up on the bed until he’s straddling Harry. “I’m in love with you too,” he says. “Just looking at you – it feels like my heart’s gonna burst.”

Harry’s kissing him before he barely even finishes the sentence, and Louis’ kissing him back. It’s filled with heat, with intent, and yeah they’ve gotten each other off a few times, there have been a few hand jobs and blow jobs here and there, but it’s never been like this. It’s never meant so _much_.

Their tongues move together as Harry’s hands come up to push Louis jacket off his shoulders. Louis shimmies it the rest of the way off while Harry unravels his tie and starts working on the buttons of his shirt. Before Louis even knows what’s happened he’s topless, and Harry is running his hands all over the exposed skin on his chest, fingers pausing at his nipples to pinch and pull a little.

“Bloody hell, Harry,” Louis hisses, feeling his dick twitch. “Come on, get yours off too.” He sits back a little to give Harry room to shrug out of his jacket and get rid of his shirt. They’re both gone within seconds, Louis swears he’s never seen Harry move so fast.

When Harry’s ready he moves down the bed so he has enough space to lie down and then he holds out his arms towards Louis. Louis can take a hint. He collapses down on top of his, smothering his entire face in kisses until Harry is giggling.

Eventually Louis kisses him properly, their lips moving softly together. Louis wants to live in this moment forever, to feel Harry beneath him, warm and lovely forever. He takes his time, kissing down Harry’s neck, down his chest, leaving little marks in his wake. He doesn’t stop until Harry is squirming and panting and his trousers are tenting.

“C’mon, Lou,” he begs. “I want you. C’mon.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Louis agrees easily. He’s been hard himself for a while. “You brought the lube and condoms, yeah?” Technically they don't need the condoms, considering it's both of their first times, but the online blogs said it made things a lot less messy.

“Yeah, they’re in the inside pocket of my jacket,” Harry tells him.

“I’ll get them. Get your pants off, love.” He pats Harry on the thigh and then rolls off of him, going in search of the lube and condoms. He finds them easily enough, right where Harry said they were. When he turns back to Harry, he’s already mostly naked, just pulling off his socks.

“You’re so beautiful,” Louis says. “I can’t believe I get to have you.”

“I love you,” is all Harry says in reply, smiling wide.

Louis places the lube and the condoms on the bed before moving to take off his own trousers and underwear. He’s nervous, can feel Harry’s eyes on him, and it makes his hands shake a little as they fumble with the zipper. He lets his trousers pool at his feet, and then hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his underwear, taking a deep breath.

“I've seen your dick before,” Harry reminds him. “I've _sucked_ your dick before.”

“Shut up, I’m nervous,” Louis tells him, but he pulls down his pants anyway. Harry watches unabashedly.

Finally fully naked, Louis clambers back on top of Harry. He stares down at the boy beneath him, moving some soft strands of hair away from Harry’s face. “Are you definitely sure about this, Haz? You can change your mind.  You don’t have to bottom either, I can do it.”

“Lou, I _want_ to do it. Stop worrying, okay? Just stop worrying and touch me.”

So Louis does. He banishes that niggling voice from his mind, and concentrates instead on running his hands up Harry’s body, squeezing the soft skin on his hips and mouthing at his collarbones, making Harry moan. Harry’s legs fall open letting Louis settle between them.

“Can I?” he asks, rubbing a finger lightly down Harry’s perineum. Harry nods.

Louis reaches over and grabs the bottle of lube, pouring as much out onto his fingers as he can. It’s probably – _definitely_ – too much, but Louis figures it’s better to be safe than sorry. He kisses Harry, and reaches a hand down between their bodies. He can feel Harry gasp when he gets to his hole.

“Sorry, is the lube too cold?” Louis frowns.

“No, no. It’s fine, it’s just… You’re touching me _there_ , you know? It’s nice though, I like it.”

“Yeah? You want me to put one in?”

“Yeah. Yeah do. Just go easy for a bit though.”

“Promise.” With that, Louis wriggles a finger in past the ring of muscle. He keeps his eyes trained on Harry’s face, looking for any signs of discomfort. “How is it?” he asks.

“It’s alright. Doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t feel like much yet, to be honest.”

“It doesn’t feel good?”

“Um, not yet? I dunno, move it around a bit and see.”

Louis does what he’s told, pumping his finger in and out and stroking randomly at Harry’s inside walls. Harry doesn’t have much of a reaction. “Maybe I’m not doing it right?” Louis suggests.

“What other way is there to do it?” Harry wonders. “Try it with two fingers.”

After a moment, Louis lines up a second finger and pushes it in too. It’s a little harder to push past the rim. Harry’s so, so tight – fuck knows how Louis’ dick is supposed to fit. God, what if it’s not? What if gay sex is some myth the internet conjured up to trick him? What if there are some internet nerds sitting at their computers right now laughing about what a good prank they’ve played?

“Louis,” Harry’s voice cuts across his thoughts. “I can hear you panicking and you’re not even saying anything. You’re doing fine, okay? Trust me, if I didn’t like it I’d tell you.”

“Yeah, okay. Okay.”

“Just move your fingers around a bit. And then stretch them, you know?” Harry makes a scissoring motion with his own hand. He smiles. “And kiss me too.”

Oh. Louis can do that. Louis can definitely do that. He presses his lips to Harry’s, even as his fingers twist and turn inside the other boy.

“Oooh,” Harry moans suddenly, his hands digging into the sheets around him. “Oh, _that_ was good.”

“Was it? I dunno what I did.”

“Think you found my prostate. Oh my god, it felt incredible. Try find it again.” Louis wiggles his fingers until Harry moans again. “There. God, there.” Harry’s eyes have shut and his brow is furrowed, pleasure etched across his expression. Louis keeps going, relishing Harry’s little gasps.

Eventually Harry’s hand wraps around Louis’ wrist, stopping him. “If you keep going I’m going to come. I don’t wanna do that yet. Want you to fuck me first.”

“You think you’re ready?” Louis checks.

“Definitely,” Harry replies, so Louis withdraws his fingers. He tears open the condom wrapper with slightly trembling fingers, rolling it onto himself.

His keeps his gaze locked with Harry’s as he sinks in, not even daring to blink. Harry’s lips part, releasing small little gasps as Louis pushes in farther and farther.

Eventually, when Louis’ in all the way, he asks, “Are you okay?”

“I’m so happy,” Harry answers sincerely. “You’re amazing and I’m so happy.”

Louis knows how he feels. It feels like he’s floating, like he’s living in a dream. For the first time all night he relaxes, letting himself just enjoy the moment. He doesn’t really know what he’s doing, but he just lets instinct and Harry’s moans guide him until they’re both shaking and shuddering and coming harder than they ever have in their lives.

Lying on the bed afterwards, they’re both panting and trying to catch their breath.

 “Was it alright then?” Louis asks.

“Better than alright. Bloody amazing,” Harry smiles. “You’re amazing.”

“Love you. I love you so much, Haz.”

“Love you too.” Harry snuggles in close, wrapping his arm around Louis’ middle. “It’s always been us, hasn’t it? You and me.”

“The dream team,” Louis agrees. “Think it was fate, when I met you.”

“Like we’re soulmates?” Harry wonders. His voice has gone soft and sleepy.

Louis thinks back on his life, to all the little segments that have led him here. Every moment with Harry is so vivid and clear, like they were written in the stars Louis looked at every night.

Most memories from his childhood have faded over time. He doesn’t remember the first thing he said to Zayn, or the first time he watched porn, or even the first time Mark took him fishing at the quarry for their monthly ‘lad’s day out’.

But he remembers Harry.

“Yeah,” he whispers into the silence of the room. “Like we’re soulmates.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, please let me know what you thought! I was admittedly very lazy with the editing, so if you spotted a mistake let me know.
> 
> There wasn’t supposed to be Ziall in this but I couldn’t help myself… I was thinking of maybe writing a Ziall oneshot to go along with this if that’s something you’d all be interested in?? 
> 
> As always, my tumblr is [smokeofthetrain](smokeofthetrain.tumblr.com) :)


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